March 30  Floatin’ my troubles away in Nha Trang

I was shocked… no, no, … appalled…. OK, OK, shocked and appalled… here I
thought Vietnam was just supposed to be beginning it’s development of
tourism and what do I see when my tour bus brings me to Nha Trang? Miami
Beach. Seriously. Huge hotel next to a huger hotel, discotheques, expensive
Western restaurants, and tourist shops, all lining a sandy beach that goes
on for miles! And you have to PAY for a beach chair!

As beach destinations go, Nha Trang doesn’t rival Thailand or Cambodia’s
Sihanoukville for palm-lined beauty, but it certainly provided space and the
vendors plying fruit, donuts, books and bracelets were not nearly as
bothersome.

But what to do after a day passed out in the sun? Nha Trang is a huge
destination for SCUBA divers, of which I’m not one, so I opted for the
ubiquitous day-long boat tours, for which it is also famous, to some of the
offshore islands.

(As an aside. These tours usually cost around $6 or $7 US but if you by one
with an open tour bus ticket from Hanoi to Saigon or vice versa, some tour
companies will throw this in for a paltry cost of $2 through their affiliate
in Nha Trang.)

So, up early for a beautiful cruise at 7:30 a.m. (Egad!) and we’re off.
Beautiful weather. Our first stop, some island with a name that’s
irrelevant, and refreshing swimming and snorkeling around a beautiful,
albeit small, choral reef. After snorkeling, an absolutely amazing lunch is
served of rice, beef, vegetable dishes, seafood, grilled spring rolls and
fresh fruit. (The benches on which we were sitting for the cruise out have
been custom made so their backs all fold down to make one large table.)
After lunch, the table is cleared and it now becomes a dance floor as the
staff on board pull out an electric guitar, cymbals and drums and
microphones for some campy English and Vietnamese songs. “Unchained Melody”
gets everyone weepy but “Back in the USSR” and a “Vietnamese Version of
Twist and Shout” has everyone up on the table knocking knees. Finally, one
staff member runs to the front of the boat with his microphone for a
hilarious rendition of “My Heart Will Go On.”

After sweating on the dance floor, it’s back in the water for the floating
bar. A Styrofoam lifesaver has been set up with a seat and crate in which
are a dozen wine bottles, cups and cigarettes. Everyone gets a lifesaver and
we accept free wine and cigarettes from the floating bartender, making sure
to keep our toes hooked under his “bar” so we don’t float away in the
current.

Back on board, it’s off to another island to relax on a sandy beach or take
part in wave-bashing or wave-smashing or whatever you do on those
ridiculously crazy high-speed machines, or get taken a hundred feet up for
some parasailing.

When that’s done, time for afternoon tea and fruit break with watermelon,
pineapple, rambutan, dragon fruit, grapefruit and little sponge cupcakes.
Than back home for another snooze on the beach.

Not bad for $2.